Do Not Want.

This always happens whenever I have to make a conscious effort to move myself and my things back to Etown. I don't do it earlier because I don't want to go. I end up late and rushing. I end up forgetting things. I end up tired and sweaty after I had just taken a shower because I end up moving everything into my car by myself. I end up crying the whole ride back.

Matt rented a car and is driving all the way here to follow me all the way there, help me move in, and then sit in a hotel room by himself while I spend several hours rehearsing, sound checking, waiting to perform, and then performing with Vocalign. I wish I could spend a little more time with him, especially with everything he's done to be there with me and make me feel a little less awful about having to go back.

Whine whine whine whine whine. My life is so difficult. My parents pay for college and I complain to them and everyone else about it all the freaking time because I don't like being there.

All I want is for this year to be a little bit less awful than the past three so I can get through it without being too miserable. Is that so much to ask?

15 comments:

Ravenclaw2313 said...

My advice; complain more on your blog. Just ask Kristina we blog followers love to give hugs and cheer people up.

College is tough even when you have friends and moving in is ABSOLUTELY the worst part. Still you'll make it through and you do have a pretty nice guy to help you carry your stuff. Once things get underway hopefully they get better.

If not, you can always come to us (or IRL friends, you have those). Also the "only one more year" mantra is helpful. Pick highlights throughout the year and count down to them. For me my current countdown is Wrockstock.

kayrowling said...

It's totally not too much to ask. You're graduating this year right? I'm not sure, but still you don't have that long of school yet. Just hold on and do what you can. I know you can finish this year successfully. I wish you the best Lauren
--Kristine London

makebelieveinfancydress said...

That's not too much to ask. It's all up to you! YOU have the power to change things and make them better. Just remember to take breaks for yourself so that you can stay sane! Plus, if this is your last year of college, you'll be free in a few months. I am in the same year as you, but I'll be at my school for at least an extra semester. Then I'm going for my PhD! Ahhh. It freaks me out a bit, but it's going to be worth it in the end, ya know?! The stuff you go through now is like that. I know it sounds uber cliche. :/ I hope you have an amazing year!

me.me.mary said...

Just because you're not enjoying college doesn't make you a bad person...

I hate the school I've just left. They let me go on loads of trips and stuff, but they were all horrible, and didn't help you at all with anything study based. Ironic no?

Moving away from home is always gonna be hard, and definately when you don't like the place you're going to!

I'm sure Matt realises that you want to spend time with him, and from what I saw of him on 5AG he seems lovely and I'm sure he'll understand! :]

And ranting on blogs always helps. And we don't mind :)

x

Lizz said...

It'll be over before you know it! <3

cdogvworld said...

My senior year of college started in a crapstorm of awfulness but became so much better. The badness was exorcised, good friends became best friends, and suddenly I was being handed my degree. Actually, it was an empty frame with a certificate for a free alumni sweatshirt. The degree would come in the mail during the summer. Anyway, time flew. You'll survive it.

Eddy said...

One year left. You're almost done. Just think about living in a quad, riding your scooter, and wearing your bear hat. I hope you wear your bear hat while you ride your scooter!

I'm glad you are blogging again. Complain all you want to your blog readers. We are here for you.

rachel the huffelpuff said...

*hug*

KaraDawlish said...

Awww Lauren i hate to see you sad! It's the last year your big finale maybe it will finally get not only bearable but fun. You never know it might be great this year! Even if that doesn't happen the thought that it's your last year should be enough to help you through it. You don't have to go back again. Hold in there<3 Besides once it's the end of the year and it's all said and done think how good you'll feel with a full college education you made it through with out giving up or quitting. You have amazing friends a supportive boyfriend an loyal fans here to help you through it :) Hopefully it gets better for you iDk! Alls i know is your lucky in my mind... I still habe four more years of highschool untill i even MAYBE get to go to college :P

SweetZ-- said...

Aww Lauren don't feel sad * hugs*
College is tough , but you can make it through. You never know expect the unexpected. Good things may happen. Instead you could have a great year. I hope your feeling better now:)
<3

lunatunarox said...

Dont worry, Lauren. You are awesome and just know that all of your Harry Potter friends are here for you to happly listen to you complain about anything just because you are amazing.

thekatbc said...

count your blessings. some people ask not to live for just one more day, not to starve another day, not to be beaten the each day; so yes what you are asking for is a bit too much. esp when you're able to enjoy such a comfortable life.

i thought more of you but this entry is just so disgusting to me...

Lauren said...

Sorry to disgust you, thekatbc. My blessings have been counted, I assure you.

Everyone else, thank you for the lovely comments. <3

nauticalterms said...

Wow thekatbc, just because there are many others in worse situations doesn't mean that people in better ones can't have problems either. They matter too.

It's ok, Lauren. Every time you feel you hate college, just look at all of the art on your dorm room walls that you're being sent from all of the internet people who love and support you.

Loes said...

I really loved how you expressed not liking college in your song 'Art Class'. *The notes I make on empirism, Plato, the History of Literature and so on are accompanied by random little drawings.. so maybe college will be artistic in a certain way nevertheless ;)* It's not even too much to ask to have a GOOD time, and I wish I could say something to help, but since I feel quite the same often i'm not sure I can, but I assure you, you're not alone! (:

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